I was a happy man, content to exist on the periphery of the gobbledygook world of gadgets and the like. Till that fateful tryst with technology. It all began when I was asked to contribute to a technology… no, a lifestyle magazine on home entertainment. So I decided to read up on the subject. Within a week I realised that technology was not quite my turf. Stumped by words like pixels, Bluetooth, PS2, Xbox and the like, I did the next best thing. I contacted professionals, (geeks, rather) to write and prayed to God that they get their facts right. They almost did. Four issues later, they still (mostly) are. But then a nagging little voice — that said in spite of planning out each issue, I have personally contributed precious little — did me in.

I decided to begin my tech trip with a first-hand experience. The result — a 60 GB iPod. I was hoping the huge hole the purchase left in my pocket would inspire me to write. But alas, as fate would have it, I am as clueless about the ways of this white wonder as I was when I started out.

Back home, armed with the weapon that I felt would make me tech-literate, I realized soon enough the daunting task before me. The struggle began as soon as I decided to charge my iPod. The plug points which these ‘foreigners’ use is flat, but I needed round ones. So I went and bought one which converts a ‘flat’ to a ‘round’ one. (Tch tch, puritans might complain I am almost writing soft porn, but I plead not guilty!)

Once the plug happened then the charging began. That took a cool five to six hours. Next step, connect it to the USB port of the computer. I did it correctly (pat pat). Then, the pains. A message popped up saying the iPod ‘needs to be formatted’. After 30 minutes, it was still formatting so I started getting impatient.

And in that frenzy I started calling up friends on the other side of the tech divide. Helpppp… I screamed, but they assured me that “it is just a gadget and not rocket science.”

Anyway, finally the installation started. Cool! It can store up to 15,000 songs, innumerable pictures and Jobs knows what else!

I was beginning to beam when another message popped up “Your computer has the latest version of Itunes so the installation cannot continue.” And the iPod went thanda. So I sat in front of the computer like a zombie for two hours, racking my brains over a couple of drinks on what to do next. (Calling up the same friends again would have made me look silly). And lo behold, dimag ki batti jali (booze can sometimes work like mentos). I uninstalled the latest version of Itunes from my computer. (I uninstalled the latest for the outdated… God!)

So I rebooted the computer and put in the installation CD again. Then came the next hurdle. I had to type in the code number at the back of the machine. So there lay my iPod, stripped of its cover, as I stared at its shining metallic backside for almost 5-10 minutes. A bit more effort (think the booze had started to dull me a little by then) and voila, I spied some letters like JAAA123… but they were so small that I needed a magnifying glass. Steve, you security freak, India has few educated criminals... and the ones there are, would rather commit a stock market fraud than pinch your iPod.

Then came the time when all new softwares ask silly questions. Sample this one ‘What will you use the Ipod for?’ Options – ‘business or personal or …’ I was stumped for a reply. Luckily, it was not on the list of questions that were mandatory, else installation would have remained a distant dream. And this writer would have turned into a tech wreck. Thank you Steve for small mercies!

Suddenly an icon called Joydeep’s iPod popped up in my Itunes. And started downloading without even a ‘May I?’. By that time, I was on my sixth drink and driven to the brink of despair. So I dozed off, hoping for a better iPod luck next day. Next morning, I was 600-songs rich. Great, I had managed to fill up 4 GB out of the iPod’s 60GB space.

Just before leaving, I decided to add some more. BIG MISTAKE! Unsuspecting fool that I was, I reconnected the iPod, deleted the downloaded songs from my Itunes, added the new ones and left it to download.

So here I was, brimming with pride and all ready to show-off my latest gadget in the office. I almost felt like James Bond in his latest car. Just decided to take a quick check before I displayed my proud possession — and started browsing through the playlist. Hello? I was supposed to have over 650 songs. But the list showed only 22!

I tried every possible option and checked every playlist but to no avail. Then I called up my know-it-all friend again. But even he seemed confused for a while. A long, studied silence later, he asked, “Was the iPod connected to Itunes when you deleted the earlier songs?” “Yes, but I deleted from Itunes Library, not from Joydeep’s Ipod,” I shot back. Another deafening pause. “You know, it can happen sometimes.”

I disconnected immediately.

I was not ready to quit though. ‘This is my iPod and tech-savvy or not, I will make it do my bidding’, or so I thought. I created a new playlist and added 600 songs to my iPod. Dawn dawned with the realization that I had now lost the earlier 22 songs.

I am completely lost now. But I am not lost on hope. I will be able to decipher the mysteries of the iPod in the next few months. I sure will! I admit that when I am not complaining and actually listening to the Ipod, I have a smile on my face. But still… wish it could have been simpler.

Tailpiece: If anyone wonders why I did not use the manual, here’s the answer. Page 12 of the manual reads ‘To transfer songs to iPod: When you connect iPod to your computer, ITunes opens. Follow the simple (???) on-screen instructions to transfer songs and playlists to iPod’.