Why Indian Naris should wear saris
As a school in West Bengal orders its women teachers to always wear a Sari at work, to the obvious discontent of the female staff, we cogitate on the state of affairs in paranoid wonderment.
27 August, 2007:
Ah, Sari, sir. Sari because Bhartiya Nari is not modest these days, because she refuses to wear the Sari. Sari is Indian woman’s garb of ghareluness. Today she is shunning the sari for sorry jeans and salwar kameez. She has let her proud pallu down to take up the dreadful drape of the dupatta. Oh, Mother India, your daughters have abandoned your glory, they have stepped out of the house, leaving the men to wear bangles in the kitchen. What have the times come to. Alas.
There is a school somewhere in West Bengal. The school has taken a very respectable step to give the Sari its due. It has asked all the teachers in the school to wear Sari. No, only lady teachers should wear the sari. Men teachers need not wear anything. The lady teachers in salwar suits will not be welcome. If they protest, they can take a vacation, or another vocation. Sari must be worn, even if the teacher is teaching PT. She must jump in her Sari, petticoat and all. If our President can wear the Sari with her ghunghat in place on her pate, what should stop all the ladies, misses, and Mrses from donning this piece of Draupadi’s savior of sanctity?
Spare the Sari, Spoil the Lady
Our women are going out of the household today to earn money. Our men have become the silent, impotent bystanders to this utter act of udder dominance. They are driving cars, riding on scooters in cleavage showing t-shirt and jeans. They are wearing mini skirts at reception desks, with stockings as an excuse to cover their legs. They are wearing shirts and pants in offices so that they look like men with breasts. They wear salwar suits of transparent type so one can see their bodice. They say sari at work is very uncomfortable. This is no excuse. How can sari be uncomfortable, when your mothers and their mothers all wore saris and still toiled in the kitchen, sweat or no sweat? Sari to burst your bubble, but you should stay at home and wear a sari.
That is what womanhood in India means.
Salwar suits only suit
unmarried girls. If you are married,
you must tend to the house wearing a
sari all the time. Like they show in
those television serials, you should
even sleep wearing a heavy sari. If
you wear make up, you must not remove
that either. You must always be
presentable to the man of the house.
You must realize we must bring back
the glory of our olden days.
The Louse in the Blouse
And look what that talentless Punjabi kudi Mandira Bedi has done to the blouse. Her blouse only hangs precariously with the help of two naras. Chhee Chhee, she even wears saris with the tricolor near her feet. She is party to this conspiracy by those lady-like fashion designers who want women to give up on petticoat under the sari. They want the women to wear navel-baring saris, with the pallu barely covering the blouse.
And look at those blouses like bras
belittling the breast watchers. These
fashion designers, I tell you, want
the men to start wearing ghaghras
and cholis. Next they will want
the men to wear make up and braid
their hair. Abhishek Bachchan is
already wearing the hair band in his
hair. No wonder people call him
Aishwarya Rai’s driver. He must
realize he is leading the young boys
of the country to become women of the
It is all the fault of the traitor NRIs, who adopt the wicked ways of the West and come back here to corrupt our women. Marriages used to be such a modest affair in the good old sabhya times. Now look at those NRI women wearing all kinds of dresses that maul the spirit of the sari at the functions. Their hair is done in crow’s nest fashion, and their cholis leave nothing to the imagination. They wear backless blouses, indicating there is no bra to hold those portions in check. And if they are wearing the bra, they choose the ones that push the parts up high to make your eyes go as round as those things seem.
The new fangled ideas of such marauders of Indian values have now reduced the sari as a curtain, a pillow cover, a bed sheet or even a quilt cover. This is an unconscious thought process at work here, if you care enough to think deeply. When you undrape the curtain, you are subliminally raping the window. When you squeeze the cushion, you are squashing a sari in subconscious erotica.
Sari Hamari Nari
In the 60’s, they invented the mini sari, worn by modern actresses of that time like Saira Banu and Mumtaz. The mini sari was the new mini skirt of those times. It was as shameful as the saris of today. The mini sari threatened to make a comeback some years ago; thankfully people had some sense to dismiss them as a joke. As if the saris of today are not revealing much, the mini sari threatened to show beefy legs to light the fire of lusty Indian men. The death of such a trend only shows that all is not lost.
Sari must be the sari it has always
been. If you want to learn how to wear
a sari, your grand mother should help
you. If you are very modern woman, you
can learn it over Internet (thank God,
there are some positive things about
this menace) here. Mind you, you must
learn the expression of the happy
model on this site. It shows how happy
you are wearing the sari. Also, keep
your petticoat above the love handles
to hide possible embarrassment, and
cover the naughty navel.