Going Nuts

Come on, how can anyone say that!

That’s what you want to tell me. I know. But what if it really is the truth?

I find myself considering this possibility every time I read about the everyday crimes in Delhi. Today morning, the same news story was splashed across every paper - brother and sister beaten up in incident of road rage.

But we know what it is. Two guys in a WagonR did not like a girl behind them honking a horn, and asking them to get out of the way. That is not road rage, that is simple Delhi male machismo.

But you know, even evil macho guys have to be ’successful’ to be called macho!

These guys jumped out with baseball bats, hit the brother, hit the car, pulled the girl, did a lot more all that again, and then chased the brother and sister as they tried to escape, got their own car banged, and finally they did something absolutely macho - they got scared seeing the blood on the brother’s face, and ran away, leaving their car behind! HAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!

Like Borat would say, I like.

I mean, what kind of idiot would do that?

Your ego is hurt, you beat up someone, and then you lose your car and run away and the cops are after you!

So how can I say that this means there are more idiots in Delhi?

Because you know, normally, criminals are nasty characters. They are tough, they are violent, but they are also successful. They know what they are doing, and call hand out a nice beating and vanish if needed - but they usually do not jump out in a rage and then run away leaving their car. That, my friend, is the work of an idiot. Like these two guys here.

And everytime I read about some crime in Delhi, I am struck by the awesome stupidity of the criminal. Like getting caught sometimes right there, sometimes in a day or two. Sometimes just kidnapping someone, and getting caught pretty quickly. Often panicking and killing the kidnapped and making it worse for everyone. Or raping someone because the idea suddenly entered their pea-brains, and then getting arrested the very next day.

You know, you expect nastiness and even mindless violence from criminals. But not idiocy.

Living in Delhi for one year, I am still surprised by the general mindlessness of the place. The zero-thinking behind almost everything. It is like the entire place runs on some primal instinct which predates rational thought in humans!

Hey, don’t think I hate the city. Most of the time, that mindlessness keeps me amused.

Back to criminals. You know, you can generally have better policing and better conviction rates and harsher punishments, but if the potential criminal does not have a brain to understand that he will be in a police lockup within 24 hours, what is the point?!

What use are deterrents to crime, when criminals are idiots too! They have to get it, you know. An idiot can’t think, can’t feel fear. How is anyone going to scare them away from crimes!

Filed under: delhi