Well, not really. But in the last two weeks, I am sure some people have considered the option after all the Ram Setu news! Ram Vilas Vedanti called for Tamil Nadu CM Karunanidhi’s head (without the body attached), and then backed off when suddenly sales of black glasses shot up across India.
But Vedanti ko gussa kyun aata hain?
Thing is, North of the Vindhyas, Ram is da best. No two ways about it. South of the Vindhyas, things get a bit confusing. Andhra Pradesh is too dry and hot to bother about all this; Karnataka prefers Rajkumar anyday, and Keralites are too drunk and having beef fry, laughing at their local Ravana Pinarayi Vijayan. That leaves Tamil Nadu.
In Tamil Nadu, Ram faces serious competition from Men in Black Glasses. MiBG is currently headed by MK (M Karunanidhi), whose most important criteria for admission are dark glasses, though having an interesting set of initials (MGR), a cape (Jaya), the ability to use a blade to slice a bullet in two (Rajni) also would be considered adequate.
The thing is, for a long time, Tamil Nadu used to go bonkers if anyone mentions anything from the North. Till sometime in the 1990s, you could just walk up to a Tamilian and say “Hindi” and he would go *bonk*. Other examples of such powerful words were “Brahmin” (Bonk!), Hindustani (Bonk!), and of course “Ram Ram” (Bonk! Bonk!).
Its a long time after all that now, but the propensity to go Bonk! remains. That is what happened to Karunanidhi. A lot of noise that percolated down to South India about Ram, Ram Setu and all that. One morning, when MK removed his black glasses to read the day’s paper, he saw Ram all over it and he went Bonk!
Anyway, the problem is that Rameshwaram, the place from where the Ram Setu begins, is now in the land of MiBG.
What is to be done? For those who have seriously considered the title of this post as an option, NO. Tamilians are too much in number, and they have Rajni. You don’t. Okay, you have Ram, but Ram takes a lot of time to get going. The Setu took a dozen years to build. Too long. Bachchan and Mithun have stopped competing with Rajni a long time back, and the current filmy heroes do their action sequences in Singapore, New York and LA.
There is a sweet idea that just occurred to me: A duel! Let Karuna and Vedanti have a duel, fultoo puranic ishstyle. Vedanti has his trishul, and Karunanidhi has his super-powerful MiBG eyewear. Pretty-evenly matched, aren’t they? A super-duper battle that can be televised live, sponsored by special saffron underwear from Rupa, and Ray-Ban. Time to end the suspense, and see some action!