Arnold Schwarzenegger  may be passed over for the role of Conan the Barbarian in the proposed remake of the movie that launched him into superstardom, but Bollywood is all set to receive the California governor with open arms.

Giving Schwarzenegger company will be Rocky star Sylvester Stallone in Kambhakt Ishq (Incredible love).

And if rumors are to be believed, Beyonce Knowles might shake a leg or two to Bollywood “item songs.” in the movie. For the uninitiated, items songs in Bollywood refer to sexy, booty-shaking song-and-dance sequences in the middle of a movie, that usually have nothing whatsoever to do with the storyline. More often than not, they are dream sequences.

Bollywood, a not-so-poor cousin of Hollywood, is based in Mumbai, India that produces the highest number of movies in the world, to the tune of nearly 900 movies every year. Big-budget movies are par for the course for Bollywood, but Incredible Love will be the first Indian production that will be shot at Universal studios at a budget over £11 million.

Though the title sounds extremely seedy, two of Bollywood’s A-listers will also star in the movie: superstars Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor. So no, nothing to worry for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone – the worst would be that the movie would bomb abroad and run well in India, and they may provide those who are used to nothing but Hollywood a lot of merriment.

Akshay Kumar, who is known for doing his own incredibly risky stunts in Bollywood movies, will play a highly successful Indian stuntsman (Akshay Kumar) in Hollywood who apparently has all but true love. Where exactly do Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Beyonce fit, I have no clue. Probably they are other stuntmen who beat up Akshay Kumar often. Maybe, Akshay Kumar would be a lower rung stuntman who actually is tougher than Stallone and Arnie, but gets thrashed by them regularly in their Hollywood roles. Perhaps only Kareena kapoor would, incredibly so, understand his pain.

Maybe its a whodunnit about who loves who incredibly.

Bollywood is ingenuous, if nothing.

Incredible Love will be produced by Sajid Nadiadwala who sees the movie as a “exciting merging of Hollywood and Bollywood.” I don’t know about you but it sounds extremely ominous to me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore Bollywood movies – most of the time. But mainstream Bollywood – Hollywood mergers, as Nadiadwala calls it, usually make asses of bewildered foreign actors who seem to have wandered into lalaland. Take Samantha Fox in a little known movie called Rock Dancer. (She seemed to be in a fugue through the movie, but was a huge hit. No need to explain why. Indian men prefer their women to be on the voluptuous side.)

Worse Bollywood films play, shockingly, to stereotypes. Foreign women are usually potrayed as loose women who drink, smoke, and are ready to jump anyone’s bones given half a chance, as opposed to sickeningly virtuous Indian women, except for a few exceptions like Elizabeth Russell (Rachel Shelley) in Lagaan who is compassionate and helps poor villagers take on her tyrannical brother Captain Russell (Paul Blackthorne).

In Bollywood, the men don’t fare very well either. So, if we go by precedent, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone may just be the bad boys in Incredible Love.