Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan's wedding: YES! NO! YES!

This is getting a bit confusing though. At one end there is Saif Ali Khan saying that marriage in on the cards, and on the other, Kareena Kapoor going blue in the face saying that she has no plans of getting married in the near future and if Saif respects her he will wait for her.

Crossed wires, wishful thinking on Saif Ali Khan’s side, or coyness on Kareena Kapoor’s part?

Or is momma Babita afraid that her daughter will lose out on interesting roles once she is married? Somebody should tell her that she should stop living vicariously through her daughters.

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor: Joined at the shoulder, elbow, hip, arm, thigh!

Whatever the case may be, the besotted Saif Ali Khan has said that Kareena Kapoor will accompany him to the village of Pataudi, to be with his parents, this winter. Saif also reminded us that Kareena is the love of his life, as though he ever let us forget.

Saif Ali Khan was earlier married to actress Amrita Singh in 1991, when he was only 21 years old. They divorced in 2004. After the divorce, Saif date Rosa Castalano for a bit. The two broke up in 2007.

Saif Ali Khan has two kids, Sara and Ibrahim, who live with Amrita Singh.

Hum saath saath hai!

In 2004, when Saif Ali Khan divorced Amrita, Kareena Kapoor started a relationship with Shahid Kapoor. The two were together till 2007, and parted ways just after they finished filming Jab We Met. The movie was a mega hit, Kareena Kapoor walked away with the Best Actress Filmfare award, and Shahid Kapoor, despite a sterling performance, was ignored by the critics and his lady love.

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor

Now that Saif has announced the wedding, and if the wedding does happen soon, I can only hope it does not attract the kind of unrelenting frenzy the Abhi-Ash wedding inspired till one was ready to gag.

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor at yet another award function: Killing us softly with their PDA

But there is a good chance, the madness will not touch dizzying heights because the duo are here, there, everywhere. In every ad, every interview, every function, every outdoor shoot, across continents, over the seas, the two can be spied hand-in-hand.

Saif and Kareena

And hopefully, everyone’s had enough of Tweedledum and Tweedledee. I, for one, am pretty close to hurling something at the TV screen when these two pop up kootchie kooing without pause.

Ursula Andress in a bikini in Dr. No

Rising from the sea a la Ursula Andress and Raquel Welch are quite passe. Now it’s all about thrashing underwater or looking like a drowned ghostie like Minissha Lamba’s famous shot in Kidnap.

Minissha Lamba bikini picture from Kidnap

Kareena Kapoor in a bikini in Tashan

After frolicking over water in Tashan, Kareena Kapoor will now do a turn underwater in a bikini in Kambhakt Ishq (Incredible Love). Remember we told you all about Incredible Love - the Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Arnold Schwarznegger, Sylvester Stallone, Beyonce and Denise Richards starrer, set in Hollywood?
Kareena Kapoor’s will-she-won’t-she wear a bikini in Tashan buzz is now being reported for Kambhakt Ishq. I have no clue whether Kareena will wear one in Kambhakt Ishq but if it’s anything like her bikini look in Tashan then she needs to up her oomph ante considerably.

She has that skinny-in-a-bikini that is so popular right now that has been denounced so disdainfully by the yesteryear bikini queen Ursula Andress. Where’s the meat? she asks.
Even Bollywood’s old daring bikini queenies like Sharmila Tagore, Parveen Babi, Dimple Kapadia, and even a chubby Pooja Bhatt looked happy to be curvy. But Kareena will follow in the footsteps of Minissha Lamba, the first homegrown skinny bikini queeny, and refuse to take note of Mallika Sherawat and Bipasha Basu who know just how to fill a bikini. Look at these pictures and decide for yourself which is a better look - the skinny or the curvy?

The skinnies

Kareena bikini photo

Minissha Lamb in a bikini in Kidnap

Skinny Priyanka in Dostana

The curvies

Mallika Sherawat

Bipasha Basu in a bikini

Voluptuous Bispasha Basu in a bikini in Dhoom 2

In an recent interview, Bipasha Basu gave the skinny on bikini bodies. She said that she has no intention of working to be bikini-fit ever again because it’s such hard work. Can you imagine what it takes to be bikini fit? Nearly four hours of strenous cardio or what-have-you killing exercise routines and surviving on egg whites, boiled veggies, and protein bars or shakes. One model said recently that she craved for roti and milk!!! I am sure even the hair shirt toting penance types in the middle ages, were kinder to themselves.

But, honestly, why would anyone expect Aishwarya Rai to get lots of footage in the trailer? Pink Panther 2 is all about Steve Martin as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau. And so is the trailer. None of the other characters in the movie are in your face, in any way whatsoever. So why should Aishwarya Rai be treated differently?

If you take a look at the Pink Panther 2 official website, the Cast & Filmmakers page has Aishwarya Rai’s picture and details among those of the nine principal characters.

The website also has five games based on five characters, Clouseau (Steve Martin), Vincenzo (Andy Garcia), Sonia (Aishwarya Rai), Pepperidge (Alfred Molina), and Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki).

Take a look at some of the pictures from the Pink Panther 2 trailer. The prominence she has got is adequate for her role and good enough for me, thank you very much.

Aishwarya Rai's photo on the Pink Panther 2 website's Cast and Character's page

Aishwarya Rai in a still from the Pink Panther 2 trailer

Aishwarya Rai in another still from the Pink Panther 2 trailer

But one cannot expect balance and maturity from the Indian media. It is a past master at knee-jerk reactions and drawing pat conclusions.

An actress adopts a child, it’s a trend. Papers and news channels will run story after story on how single women today are adopting furiously before their biological clocks wind down.

A manic depressive actress kills herself. Be ready to brave stories and chats with pop psychologists about how actresses in the show business are prone to offing themselves and why.

India wins a Gold at the Olympics, and suddenly it is a major player on the World’s sports scene.

The India cricket team wins two matches in a row, it’s the best team in the world. India loses one match, it’s the worst team in the world. Ganguly doesn’t retire, he is selfish. Ganguly retires, he is the most wonderful player ever in Indian cricket. I mean, grow up!

And then there are our film critics. Most don’t know the basic rule of writing a critique: you don’t compare apples with oranges. But no, Nagesh Kukunoor’s Bombay to Bangkok will be compared to his Dor and found wanting, never mind they belong to two different genres.

Bombay to Bangkok may or may not be a good movie, but if comparisons have to be drawn then it better be compared to, say, a Jab We Met or any other romantic comedy.

Whatever happened to perspective?

Pink Panther 2 will be released on February 6, 2009. Aishwarya Rai plays Sophie Solandres, a criminologist, in the movie.

Richard Gere pounces on Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS program in India

Then there was the British media rushing to her defence, when Jade Goody and the others ganged up on her in Big Brother indulging in racist comments.

And now the latest Bond, Daniel Craig, has said that Shilpa would make the perfect Bond girl, thanks to her awesome figure. He said in an interview that Shilpa has a killing figure just right for a Bond girl.

Shilpa Shetty

Well, she does have an awesome figure but, lordy, her face! She used to be quite sweet looking once, artless and unsophisticated perhaps, but her mile-wide smile made her look innocent and sensual at the same time.

Shilpa Shetty at the start of her career

And look at her now. All that hacking and sculpting on her face makes her look so unreal. Those of you who like their movie stars to have the sculpted-by-the-same-plastic-surgeon look will, of course, never agree.

Shilpa Shetty: Behold the reworked nose

But still, if Bond doesn’t mind, so be it.

Bond girl or Bond shrew?

Though Shilpa has no international movies on her hands, she still manages to capture interest overseas.

Since the Big Brother debacle, Shilpa Shetty has attended a reception at the House of Commons to meet with then-British prime minister Tony Blair. Sky One made a documentary on her called The Real Shilpa Shetty, produced by Twofour, and she was on the cover of the first OK! magazine launched in India.

On November 14, 2008, Telegraph carried an interview with Shilpa about how she manages her money.

She was asked about the reasons for the current financial crisis, in spiritual terms.!!??!

To which, Shilpa said “If you keep a clean heart with your money you will have a clean karmic cycle, but the day you do something negative to another person that karmic circle will start to bring you down.” That is the most profound and compelling analysis of the current financial situation that I have come across yet. I am lovin’ it!

She also said that she is part of the Oneness University movement, which believes that the financial climate will worsen before 2012, because the the world is overpopulated and we suffer things like global warming and poverty as a result. “The only way to achieve balance is to let nature take its course through natural calamities.” Sorted!

Chitrangada Singh

Anyway, Sudhir Mishra is maha grouchy these days because Chitrangada Singh has chosen to come back with director Onir’s Sorry Bhai. Mishra had planned a movie for Chitrangada but it was taking too long to take off, and Chitrangada decided to do Onir’s Sorry Bhai.

Sharman Joshi, Chitrangada Singh, and Sanjay Suri in Sorry Bhai

Sorry Bhai is a romantic comedy starring Shabana Azmi, Boman Irani, Sanjay Suri, Sharman Joshi and Chitrangada Singh. Sorry Bhai revolves around Chitrangada Singh (Aaliya) who is to marry Sanjay Suri (Harsh). Harsh’s mother (Shabana Azmi) is not too happy about the upcoming nuptials, but does go to Mauritius to attend the wedding with younger son Siddharth (Sharman Joshi) and husband (Boman Irani) in tow.

In Mauritius, caught between an antagonistic mother-in-law-to-be and a workaholic fiancee, Aaliya falls in love with Siddharth. Aaliya chases a reluctant Siddharth with a single-minded passion, leading to all sorts of complications within the family.

Chitrangada Singh: She does look a bit like Smita Patil, doesn't she?

Chitrangada Singh made her debut in Sudhir Mishra’s Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi and 2003. It was quite a sensational debut with comparisons being drawn with the late Smita Patil. Chitrangada then appeared in Kal: Yesterday and Tomorrow.

Chitrangada with husband Jyoti Randhawa and son Zorawar

But much to the chagrin of her fans, she quit the movies after her marriage to golfer Jyoti Randhawa. There were a flurry of rumors that Chitrangada quit because Randhawa would not allow her to act in films. Soon, there was nothing to be heard of her except lamentations of fans and sundry directors who said they would cast her in a heartbeat should be choose to come back.

In 2007, stories emerged about Chitrangada’s probable comeback with Sudhir Mishra’s Devdas that is expected to be released in 2009.

Onir got to her first and Chitrangada has been quoted as saying that she signed on for Sorry Bhai in an hour’s time.

Chitrangada will star in Sudhir Mishra’s Devdas - which is yet to go into production - as Chandramukhi.

Sudhir Mishra’s last film was the 2007 Khoya Khoya Chand. His Tera Kya Hoga Johnny with Neil Nitin Mukesh, Soha Ali Khan, and Kay Kay Menon is in post-production. It has missed its projected release date of October 15, 2008, though. There is no fresh word as to when the movie will be released.

Sushmita Sen to star in Benazir Bhutto biopic

The biopic will be produced by Vox Vision and Sum Films.

The Benazir Bhutto movie will be made in English and Urdu, and will be shot extensively in Pakistan and England.

In preparation of the role, Sushmita is working on her Urdu diction.

Sushmita Sen is currently steeped in her home production Rani Laxmibai. Considering how her Inshallahs and Mashallahs are creeping into her daily lexicon, as seen in Ek Khiladi Ek Hasina, I hope Rani Laxmibai doesn’t suffer the same fate.

“Mein apni Jhansi kabhi nahi doongi..Inshallah!”

Sushmita Sen

The good thing about Sush, though, is that shecarries herself so well, she should be completely at ease slipping into the roles of Rani Laxmibai and Benazir Bhutto.

Benazir Bhutto

Benazir Bhutto used to carry herself in a calm, graceful manner, and so does Sush. Both have an air of authority and a regal demeanor.

Apart from Rani Laxmibai, Sushmita has only two other movies in her kitty - Dulha Mil Gaya with Shahrukh Khan and David Dhawan’s Do Knot Disturb with Govinda.

But then Sushmita has never been an overtly industrious actress, working busily on many projects at the same time. In the past twelve years, Sushmita has acted in barely 26 films - most of them have flopped.

What is common among many of her flop films is that conceptually they are good movies - Filhaal, Chingaari, Zindaggi Rocks, Paisa Vasool - but lost in execution.

There is a certain naivete about Sushmita that comes across in her onscreen persona as well, which is the only reason I am not very sure she can pull off Benazir Bhutto.

Tabu

Tabu would have been an interesting choice, but there is a certain diffidence in her personality that is completely at variance with Benazir’s character. To tell the truth, neither of them can look coldblooded enough to play Benazir. Tabu, of course, is a better actress compared to Sushmita and has better chances of pulling it off. But, that’s idle speculation, of course.

It will be interesting to see if the script, production, and casting comes together this time for Sushmita. I hope for Sushmita’s sake, that Benazir does not get assassinated again, this time on big screen.

Asin Thottumkal

The buzz in the industry is that Asin has got too big for her boots. Apparently, she has been throwing tantrums on the sets of Vipul Shah’s London Dreams, but that has not stopped Kollywood and Bollywood from clamoring after her. Asin, though, has been turning down Bollywood offers till the release of Ghajini, in December 2008.

Salman Khan and Asin on the sets of London Dreams

Reportedly, Asin is been paid Rs 1.5 crores for London Dreams, and has been offered Rs 2 crores for Vettaikaran, opposite Vijay.

Asin

The 23-year old Asin made her debut in Sathyan Anthikkad’s Narendra Makan Jayakanthan Vaka in 2001. Then came the 2003 Amma Nanna O Tamila Ammayi, for which she won the Filmfare Best Telugu Actress award. In 2005, Asin won the South Filmfare best actress award for Ghajini.

Asin is now one of the hottest actresses in South India apart from Meera Jasmine and Nayanthara.

Before entering movies, Asin was a model and entrepreneur in Chennai.

Asin and Kamal Hassan in Dasavatharam

The year 2008 has been very lucky for the South Indian actress. Asin’s last movie, the Kamal Hassan starrer Dasavatharam, was one of the biggest hits in South Indian movies ever. In July 2008, Asin featured on the cover of Vogue India.

Asin on Vogue India cover

Rumors say that Asin will star with Kamal Hassan in a $50-million Walt Disney and Bharat Bala Productions flick 19 Steps. The movie will be based on Kerala’s traditional martial art Kalaripayattu.

19 Steps will revolve around a veteran Kalaripayattu expert (Kamal Hassan) who trains a young Japanese man (Tadanobu Asano) in the popular martial art form. Asin plays a Malayali princess who falls in love with the Japanese boy.

Her forthcoming movie Ghajini with Aamir Khan is one of the most anticipated movies of 2008.

Asin as Kalpana in Ghajini

The story of Ghajini revolves around a rich tycoon Sanjay (Aamir Khan) who is in love with a model and activist Kalpana (Asin Thottumkal). As part of her activist work, Asin comes across a child trafficking gang, and is bumped off by the gang because she knew too much about them. Sanjay is hit on the head in the scuffle when Asin is killed and subsequently, he suffers from short term memory loss.

He can remember events for only 15 minutes. Sanjay sets out to avenge Kalpana’s death. Ghajini also stars Jiah Khan as a psychology student and Riaz Khan as a cop.

Mallika Sherawat's Hisss costume

Then there is the problem of locomotion. Remember we said when Mallika Sherawat dons her snake suits, she is practically immobile unless she takes to dragging herself around the floor? It’s even worse in the jungles, where the mud, slime, and worms makes you feel pretty trapped.

Mallika Sherawat’s Hisss hooded snakesuit in the movie is lumbering and cumbersome. Considering Mallika’s snake woman can swallow humans whole, Jennifer Lynch wanted her snake suit to look huge.

Mallika Sherawat has to don the huge snakesuit for hours, and she can’t even go to the loo for 10 hours at a stretch. Besides, the jungle is full of leeches, and the unit has its work cut out in taking them out.

In Hisss, Mallika is not supposed to utter a word. Because she is a snake, she is not supposed to understand the human language. This is quite a change from other Indian snake movies, where the
snake women not only speak the human language, but are very often bilingual, and even manage to speak fluently in colloquial local languages!

Reports say Mallika celebrated her 31st birthday in the jungle. The crew members threw a party for her and got her a cake made of vegetables and nuts, since Mallika is very fitness conscious. Hisss revolves around a snake woman out for revenge. The movie is directed by Jennifer Lynch, with special effects by renowned make-up and special-effects artist Robert Kurtzman. Kurtzman has worked on Quentin Tarantino, Sam Raimi, and Robert Rodriguez movies.

Hisss is being shot in Chennai, Kerala, and Mumbai. The movie will be released in 2009. Mallika Sherawat will be seen next in Fauj Mein Mauj, although there are rumors that the movie has been shelved. The grapevine also says that Mallika will play the role of south siren Silk Smitha in a biopic on the tragic life of the depressive actress who committed suicide in 1996.

Pic: Gemma Arterton covered in oil in Quantum of Solace

The scene is very like that of a scene in Goldfinger where a Gold-covered Shirley Eaton is lying on a bed in an identical pose. Shirley Eaton who plays Jill Masterso, an accomplice of Goldfinger, is killed when she is smothered with gold paint.

Shirley Eaton covered in Gold in the 1964 Bond film Goldfinger

The Daily Mail has quoted Gemma Arterton as saying, “I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe or hear because it went in my ears. It was unpleasant, but it’s something I’ll always remember and it will be an iconic part of the film.”

Gemma Arterton Quantum of Solace publicity picture

The Mail has carried many pictures of Gemma Arterton covered in a black liquid. There is one where Gemma Arterton blows a kiss to the camera after filming is over.

The Quantum of Solace is directed by Marc Foster and will be released on October 31, 2008 in the UK.

In the movie, James Bond (Daniel Craig) sets out to avenge the death of Vesper Lynd and takes on Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric) who wants to stage a coup in Bolivia to take control of its water supply. Bond takes the help of Camille (Olga Kurylenko), who also wants to eliminate Greene.

Gemma Arterton oil-covered photo

Gemma Arterton plays Agent Fields, who works at the British Consulate in Bolivia, and has been deputed to keep an eye of Bond (Daniel Craig). Agent Fields character and look is similar to that of the 60s Bond heroines.

Quantum of Solace was filmed in Panama, Chile, Italy and Austria, while the sets were built at Pinewood Studios.

Photo: Mallika Sherawat's look in Nagin

Does not augur well for Hisss on the face of it. But, Hisss‘ costume, make-up, and special effects teasers have generated a lot of interest. You can see from the pictures here that this is not your standard Ramsay, or even Ramu (The Factory) horror film. Costume quality and makeup in the Hiss arfe definitely on Hollywood standards. We hold our judgement though on that ridiculous name Hisss - who chose that, some assistant director to the Ramseys?

The producers, Vikram Singh and Govind Menon, have roped in Robert Kurtzman, known for his expertise in make-up, special effects, and visual effects. Kurtzman has won the Saturn award in 1999, for make-up in the movie Vampires.

Mallika Sherawat

Mallika Sherawat is best known as the hottest bod in Bollywood. Mallika Sherawat was last seen in Maan Gaye Mughal-e-azam and Ugly aur Pagli, both of which were box-office disasters. She has also acted in The Myth with Jackie Chan.

Mallika Sherawat’s look has been crafted quite painstakingly in Hisss. In the movie, Mallika Sherawat has to wear huge contact lenses that even cover the white of her eyes. Mallika Sherawat has to take out the lenses every few hours to let her eyes breathe. The elaborate nagin elaborate costume has to be kept on for 8-10 hours at a stretch, and she has to be carried around.

Mallika cannot drink water or go to the loo during those 8-10 hours.

Photo: Mallika Sherawat in her Nagin avatar in Hisss

Mallika Sherawat was first noticed in Khwahish (2003), a movie that became famous for its seventeen kisses. The hero was forgotten, Mallika was both appreciated and condemned for her “boldness,” depending on which side of the fence you are on. Mallika Sherawat refused to apologise for her sexy image, rather she reveled in it.

Next came the 2004 Murder, which was a runaway hit. Mallika Sherawat played the role of a woman who has an extramarital affair.

All through her career, Mallika Sherawat has courted controversy because of her outspoken comments on sexuality.

Mallika Sherawat’s last hit has been Pyaar Ke Side Effects, a multiplex movie that did quite well, and gave her an opportunity to shed her sexy image.

Mallika Sherawat does not have any other films in her kitty right now, except the recently announced Unveiled. The other movie she was supposed to apppear in, Fauj Mein Mauj, has been shelved. Hisss is very important to Mallika’s career, in that sense.

Hisss revolves around a vengeful nagin (Mallika Sherawat), who shape shifts into a gorgeous woman and goes to the city to hunt for her mate, who has been captured from the jungle by an American, George States. Hisss also stars Irfan Khan who plays a cop who has to track her down to stop the destruction she unleashes in the city.

The vengeful nagin theme has been very popular in Indian cinema, with more than a dozen movies made on snakewomen, between 1925 and 1990. What is common among all the Nagin movies is the horrendous make-up and equally terrible special effects.

With good production values, Hisss might actually do justice to the tired theme. The last woman to play a Nagin in Bollywood was the sumptuous Sridevi in Nagina (1986). Nagina was a huge hit and even had a sequel.

Hisss will be released in 2009.