DWS Extra

So I watched it – first day, second show. Because I was sure this is gonna be a super duper flop. What else could you think, after watching the ridiculous promos on TV?

In the promos, there was Ajay Devgan trying to romance a play-acting Nisha Kothari in small pieces of clothing. There was the Yuvraj Singh-like (but dumber looking) Prashant Raj. There was pretty much nothing else, but that was enough for me to judge the movie. This was going to be the biggest bomb of the year, and I shall be there to watch it, come what may.

Also, I am not a Sholay-lover. See, I was born in Kerala, and came across Sholay much after I was used to Malayalam movies, Hollywood action movies and several Westerns. Frankly, if you end up Sholay after you have already watched Mad Max, there is pretty much nothing in it. The silent Amitabh Bachchan was a bore for me. Gabbar was just another daku. Much much later, when I came in touch with the culture of North India and Bollywood, I could appreciate it a bit better. Now it is a tolerable movie for me – but all that has impressed my North Indian friends, wife and Mumbaikars just wash over.

I have sort of developed a theory. All these people watched Sholay for the first time when they were kids. My wife says she was so young, and cowering in fear of Gabbar for weeks after she saw the movie. Obviously, if you are a native Hindi-speaker and watched a movie that was path-breaking by Bollywood standards, you would be mighty impressedl I guess.

A friend, over much whiskey and beer, said that Adoor Gopalakrishnan once spoke approvingly of Sholay. Did he? I wish someone could confirm that. If he did, that might mean I am wrong, and it is just a matter of different tastes. On the other hand, my friend has a habit of coming up with stuff which he wouldn’t remember the next day morning, so I am taking it with a pile of salt.

Through most of the movie, I sat there with dumb-struck friends. The seats were cramped. The visuals looked dull, brown and dusty. The camerawork was maddening, flying down into arses and coming out of their zippers! Swinging everywhere. Somewhere I had read that Ram Gopal Varma’s camera is still excellent. Not so. There was nothing creative about a camera lurching all over the place.

Ajay Devgan and Prashant Raj were boring. They kept saying “yes..” to each other meaningfully. Some attempt at creating a cult of “yes”? Didn’t work, if that was what RGV attempted. Bachchan was alright. I was not sitting there comparing him with Gabbar, but there was pretty much nothing wrong with his over-acting. Mohanlal looked like he was making a valiant attempt, but even for a mallu, so much of a terrible mallu accent for an entire movie was overwhelming. What was Ram Gopal Varma trying to do? The southie cop character of Mohanlal’s in Company worked because there was not much of Mohanlal talking, and it was understated. Mohanlal did not have to stand there and get into lengthy monologues. Not the case here.

Nisha Kothari. Ah, this one is a classic. You know, I see a bit of Urmila Matondkar in her face – but not her acting. What acting, anyway? Her acting skills are way those of below amateur school plays. Some of them might even be better. Yes, she can writhe and wiggle like Urmila. But there are nothing but a few over-the-top expressions that I could see on her face. Over-the-top by Bollywood standards. That’s something. Remember that I am not comparing her to Hema Malini at all – someone who was mildly irritating for me in the original Sholay. And I can understand the shock that those who hold Sholay dear feel when they see this one.

In fact, my friends forced me to leave the cinema hall half-way. They could not take it anymore. Not that I wanted to watch the rest of the movie, but I was prepared for a really super-duper flop . They were too, but it was still too much for them. So we all left together.

A few days later, my brother in Mumbai went to watch it. When he reached there, they told him that due to technical problems, they were not having a show and would refund his ticket. More likely, there were only around 10-15 people who had turned up, says my bro. Just brilliant. After I described the movie to him, he was really forlorn. Will this ever make it to the TV screens, he asked. Unlikely, I replied, looking at the overall negativity around about Aag.

So that’s about it. A Sholay non-lover’s experience of the first half of Aag. Here is a full review of Aag you if you haven’t been deluged by them already.

Apparently Ramu has shouldered all the blame. He should. For casting Ajay Devgan in a role which he is just not cut out for; for thinking that Nisha Kothari is anything more than a singing-dancing extra; for embarrassing Bachchan and Mohanlal. But most of all for not caring enough to come up with a decent script.

My wife says it is a salvage job. Looking at the poor chemistry between all the pairs – Devgan and Raj, Sushmita and Raj, Devgan and Kothari – Ramu probably decided halfway through the shooting that it was not working at all. And he changed it into a Babban vs Narasmiha movie. That was the only chance, two actors who really tried hard to do justice to a bad script. But the script – if there was one – was not written for that, and Ramu ended up with a lot of footage to chop off from their scenes. And he ended up with the footage of Bachchan and Mohanlal – and compensated by not editing them tightly. So when Bachchan sneers into the camera, he keeps sneering. Forever. When Mohanlal cries in pain, his face fills the screen and does not go away till you start giggling. And that is how Ramu turned Sholay into a King Kong vs Godzilla!