DWS Extra

We have received some detailed comments from our readers of the original Deathly Hallows plotholes story, and we thought instead of publishing them in the comments and drowning them, it might be a good idea to publish them separately here.

So here we go.

1.

A
Submitted on 2009/12/22 at 7:46am

Something you all have to realize about the choices that the characters make.. like why didnt they disapperate off the dragon’s back, why didnt they use a cushioning charm whenever harry fell of his broom, why didnt barty crouch make something else into a portkey….etc etc…while it might also be seen as a plot device…you have to remember that the characters are also HUMAN…wizards maybe, but human. how many of us look back on our days and go damn, i should have done that this way…lots of times right?…but at the same time..its easy for us, who know EVERYTHING abt the harry potter world from reading the books to say, “oh if I were voldermort, I’d have used a different spell.” First of all, if you were voldermort, you never would consider every bit of every choice you made before you did it. (He thinks he’s special and all-powerful so he acts to that accord)…Second, if you’re voldermort, you may very well end up using the avada kadavra curse again….it failed you, granted with the same boy…but it’s work loads of times before, and you believe youself to be correct so you’re not gonna believe a word this boy is saying…and you might just as well use that same curse. I get so angry at Harry for using expeliarimus on stan shunpike during his departure from prvetdrive. But its his character. It’s also his character not to look for a portrait of dumbledore to talk to, and hermione’s character to summon books on horcruxes, and ron’s not to use expeliarimus.

On the other hand, the wand allegiance is confusing…and complicated ..but i think it works. Its been explained a few times already so i’m not going to reiterate.

The whole is series is definetely not without wrong..i mean theres a lot of inconsistencies (i think that’s the word people are looking for;”plot-hole” has been used way too much here)..bill or charlie with the long hair? harry not seeing the thestrals after book 4 (although JKR does a decent job of explaining that on her site), whether prefects can deduct pts or not (percy takes pts from Griffindor in bk 2 when he sees ron leaving the girls bathroon, but in bk5 ernie tells malfoy that prefects cant take pts off, to which malfoy says that the inquisitorial sqad can), how in the graveyard scene (due to a bit of editing failure of the American editor), harry’s father comes out from voldermrt’s wand first, when it was backwards and his mother should have come out first(she mentioned this on her website too)….those bits are just things that need to be corrected in the subsequent editions. A lot of other things are just figuring them out and leaving them to interpretations. On the hand some things are just the way you read them. Use some imagination! It really technically is a children’s series, even if it’s widely read by adults as well. I do recommend listening to the audiobooks as well like someone me wrote..You catch and understand a lot more.

One thing I didnt like was names that harry’s kids had. I mean come on? albus severus? i love DD and SNape..but rly? it just sounds akward..and even confusing is Lily Luna Potter…did luna die? i mean i didnt think she did,…but if she didnt why name a child after her..it seemed like a loose end..and idk or maybe its just me being curious as to why youd name ur kid after a friend unless theres a special reason..and not just bc u like the name….But hey its JKR’s characters and her choice..just like Harry is harry and everyone else is who she wants them to be…

2.

Michal
nostalgicus.bloguje.cz

I haven’t read the discussion completely, so I may repeat something already mentioned:

1. Since the fall of the Ministry, the name “Voldemort” has been a taboo word – that is why the Death Eaters were able to find Harry, Hermione and Ron in the club. But why on earth does Harry say the word at least twice when they are camping in forests, and the Death Eathers don’t get to them? Well, it can just be a mistake caused by the translation (I’ve read a Czech version).

2. The relation between the wizards and the Elder Wand is too complex. I had to read Harry’s explanating monologue twice and still I’m not sure I understand it well. The most confusing thing is that Harry defeated Draco Malfoy and became the master of the Elder Wand, but Draco was using a different wand at that time. I think Rowling tried to make the seventh book very logical and consistend, which paradoxically made it illogical at some moments.

3. The Time Turner stuff – gosh, how much time have I spent explaining the people that you simply can’t change the past! The Time Turner can just make a loop with a determined outcome. Buckbeak was not killed at all – he had been saved by the “previous” Harry and Hermione. The “present” Harry and Hermione just fulfilled the loop. When Hermione warns Harry about dangerous consequences of travelling to the past, she might be only exaggerating – no-one can “kill himself” in fact. The thing that they destroyed all the Turners at the Ministry doesn’t have any impact on the whole thing at all – Rowling just made sure no-body would suggest using the Time Turners for saving everyone’s life.

3.

roboiswise
Submitted on 2009/12/12 at 4:24am

Time turner is a major hole. Disagree with other arguments, there wasn’t a restriction on how far you could go back, even if you only had twenty four clicks you just keep going back a day at a time. And I’m sure Harry went forward in time, too. Voldy/Death Eaters had endless opportunites to reverse things before book 5 and certainly didn’t care about getting permission from ministry.

Most of the other numerous plot holes didn’t worry me, I’m happy to read over them and enjoy the story. I guess I did find the series increasingly complicated and hard to follow. Perhaps you have to read it several times and take notes. But like my friend said, a really well crafted story should be self explanotory. The HP series started gettiing quite convoluted by the Goblet, but i still liked it even though it is much weaker in plot and structure than other fantasy classics like LotRings.

One thing that always made me wonder was all those ghosts that wandered around hogwarts – why didn’t Sirius, dumbledore etc hang out as ghosts after they died? THey could have given Harry and others heaps of advice. Harry didn’t need to speak to Dumby in death when he could’ve spoken to him in the dining room. Why didn’t Harry’s parents hang out too? He could have got to know them and everything else that happened when Voldy went nuts. Did i miss something?

4.

Hobiewan
Submitted on 2009/12/10 at 4:47am

Permission from ministry to use time turners! Voldy and deatheaters dont give a rats about permission. THe time turners is a gaping hole that undid the whole serires for me. They weren’t destroyed until book 5, plenty of time for all those immensly powerful bad wizards to go back in time and undo what harry did to voldy in first place. If a 3rd grader is wandering around with a time turner just to get to more classes, the baddies would have to have one too. There’s countless other plot holes, otherwise this debate wouldn’t exist.

Also, I don’t like the way rowling stole most of her ideas from other authors ( the good ones anyway) and makes out their hers she’s well renowed for giving scant recognition to other authors). The wand knowing its owner is Blytons (Chinky the Pixie’s wand in the wishing chair series, so were the moving staris, invisibilty coat(the tenth task)+many more. Tolkein: LotR- Great Willow almost identical to Whomping willow, Sauron-vanquished dark wizard rising again=Voldy; Faramir + others refer to Sauron as ‘He who shall not be named’, Bilbo/Frodo using invisibilty ring to spy etc like Harry, morgul blades with special magic=sword of gryfindor, ringwraiths=dementors, hobbits (ie little people) vs dark lord concept = kids vs voldy, + heaps more, Hobbit-Shape shifters (Beorn can turn into a bear)= shape shifters in Azkaban, giant spiders(chp.8)-rowling pretty much cut and paste this whole scene into Aragog in Chamber of sec, + heaps more. And dont forget Worst Witch by Jill Murphy – castle boarding school for witches with nasty potions teacher, broomstick flying lessons, powerful headmistress etc.

If you took these three authors out of HP, there’s still some good bits left, but most of them belong to the likes of Gaimon (books of magic-tim and his white pet owl were another cut and paste job by jkr – just name change to Harry & hedwig), platform13 where the kids use magical platform to go to other worlds=9&3/4, CS Lewis of course and others.

What’s left is the convoluted, tangled quagmire that belongs to rowling. If you think she’s king, you’ve been sadly duped.

If citizens of modern countries can keep their countries clean, why can’t we?

Read the rest of this entry »

BY MANALI ROHINESH

I saw the funniest standup English comedy show recently and no..it was not a reality show on television. It was ‘Walking on Broken Das’ at the Nehru Centre, performed by Vir Das. He is India’s sole answer, at the moment, to Jay Leno and the whole gang which kept us entertained in ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’

It was rib-tickling, one hour of puns, sex jokes, funny characterisation and music. Oh..let me not forget the slides that were flaunted between acts to keep the audience warmed up and in good humour.

Vir Das is a talented performer and even his below-the-belt stuff was hilarious and not vulgar in the least. He’s giving breaks to a lot of new upcoming standup comedians – first in this show he’s introduced Saurabh Pant – but he’s also performing live at Blue Frog every third Sunday at 7.00 pm with a lot of the other upcoming talents.

Do check him out – You’ll be crying tears of joy and laughter. Not a bad way to spend a weekend.

I remember watching him perform at CNBC-TV18, when I worked there. I loved the way he punned his own name – how Vir Das was mauled into ‘Weird Ass’ by the Americans because of their accent!! Keep stuff like this coming.

I do have a suggestion about where you could pick up some rich material for future shows. How about junk e-mails? As a woman, I get far too many on how to enlarge my penis! May be I should be getting an e-mail on how to acquire one in the first place!

I have nothing against TV ads – le’s be clear. They are required, they bring in much needed moolah, and some of them are really creative, some make you think, some make you laugh.

And there are some which make you want to kick the TV, pull the actors out of the TV set and then kick them in the butt again and again.

Watching the IPL Season 2 on TV, I am pissed off again and again by several ads. The one which infuriates me this time is the Oh-so-cute Airtel ad featuring the celluloid couple from Guru, Vidya Balan and Madhavan.

As cheesy goes, this one surely takes the cake.

Setting: Cosy home. Vidya Balan sitting on a sofa reading something, Madavan sitting like an ullu on a sofa faraway in front.

Vidya Balan’s phone beeps. She picks it up, says, “very romantic.” Madhavan smiles cutely.

Vidya Balan’s phone beeps again. Madhavn makes a perfect impression of a retarded ape. Mouth open a bit.

She picks up phone, sees its an SMS from Madhavan again, and goes into a harange. “whats this, SMS pe SMS, there are cutbacks everywhere and here you go SMS-ing again and again.”

Madhavan’s face falls. Kicked-in-the-teeth expression employed by Madhavan.

Middle-harangue, Vidya’s phone rings. She picks up and goes, “hello?”

Madhavan announces: “Pyar mein cutbacks nahin hona chahiye”.

Vidya Balan gets it! Respect dawns on her face. Madhavan makes cute-boy expression again. Vidya touches the roof of her mouth with her tongue and offers happy wifely smile. Madhavn too sjiles in tiumph.

GAAAARGH!

This ad would have normally just seen me smirk. But the Airtel ad appears so many times during the course of a single match, now I loathe it from the heart of my bottom.

Their earlier Airtel ads were also mildly smirk-inducing, but this one, just because of the number of times it is aired, just takes it to a whole new level of atrociousness.

I am not a native of Delhi – landed here only a couple of years back. On my first trip to Dwarka, I did not have any idea how to get there. I had to go to Mahavir Enclave, a dusty crowded place next to Dwarka. The instructions were, while you are on the flyover, watch for the sign boards as the exit ramp to Mahavir Enclave appears a bit suddenly.

It happened exactly like that. If you saw it too late, you would swerve to get into it likely leading to an accident; someone from behind would run into you.

It was obvious that the design of the flyover was faulty. On further trips on the Dwarka flyover, I noticed that people tended to speed up, and the curves were too sharp and flat for motorcycles and scooters which rely on banking to turn into corners. Overall, bad design for sure. The curves are a bit sharp even for cars if the drivers are not alert enough.

So obviously the designers of the Dwarka flyover are to blame. Or are they?

If it was obvious to a Delhi newbie like me on my first trip on the Dwarka flyover that it is a dangerous place to drive fast, what about everyone else? What about all the people who have been to Dwarka who would warn you of the dangers if you drive fast there?

Let’s try blaming the deisgners of the Dwarka flyover. It is not really a flyover – it is a viaduct that just passes over a winding narrow road under it, much like the JJ Flyover of Mumbai. The JJ Flyover has similar issues with sharp curves – and if you are not alert, you would have a crash there. The difference is that there are high barriers on the JJ Flyover, and people do not fly off the and land on the ground 30-40 feet below.

Dwarka flyover too is narrow as the road below it is narrow. It takes sharp turns because the road below takes sharp turns.

There might be solutions to such a situation, certainly. Maybe lots of rumble strips. Maybe real high railings.

But there is some responsibility on the people too. This is India, where there is no nanny state protecting us and caring for us. One thing life in India teaches you is that you are mostly on your own. Your ass is your business.

How come there have been more accidents after the Holi accident on the Dwarka Flyover that killed 3? There were two more accidents afterwards. After the Holi accident, the news was on TV, newspapers, FM radio, and everyone was talking about it. Who are the people who remain unaware of the dangers of the Dwarka Flyover even after so much publicity? Remember that the Dwarka flyover has been known to be troublesome for the last 2 or 3 years. Who are these people who remain blissfully unaware of it all?

I am not really talking about the people who died. There are lots of idiots even now on the Dwarka Flyover, even after all this publicity. Perhaps, cops should just slap anybody who speeds on the flyover. That might be a good lesson, and the cops would enjoy it I am sure.

Been thinking about this for a while. Why not create some funny malayali t-shirts and try to sell it online? If it works, great and I make a lot of fellow mallus happy. We all get to wear mallu t-shirts! What can be better than that?

On the other hand, if nobody wants to buy them by spending their hard-earned money, i waste only an hour or two of my time. And Vendel venda, poda!

So I set about creating my funny mallu t-shirt. I think I am resoanbly happy with the results as you can see here.

This one is a V-f-r-vendetta T-shirt. As any malayali would agree, vendetta is overhyped. It is not as important as vendakka. Vendakka is the Fount of Life, just like Viskey is the elixir of life.

So here it is, presenting the all-new V for Vendakka t-shirts for complete and total enjoyment of all my malayali friends and enemies. If you are a vendakka thalayan, obviously you would not like it. For the smart and intelligent mallu, here is the best gift.

Update: News sites are now reporting that 2 people were killed, and 18 injured in the blast.

This just in. There has been a bomb blast at Jahaj Mahal flower market in New Delhi. According to reports, 5 people have died and 50 injured.

The injured have been rushed to Safdarjung Hospital and AIIMS in New Delhi.

Eye witness reports say that two men planted the bomb and escape. We also hear that they were on a motorcycle, planted the bomb and got away on a motorcycle. No reliable reports on the blast yet.

Police and ambulances have rushed to the spot.

Jahaj Mahal and Mehrauli are crowded areas in New Delhi.

The blast happened at around 2:30 PM.

You can track breaking news about the Mehrauli bomb blast at any of the major news websites below;

Rediff

IBNlive

NDTV

Hoping all of you are fine.

Jahaj Mahal, Mehrauli photo

As if one has to re-state this. You would think everyone would agree. But the current state of media reporting of car or motorcycle accidents, and the attitude of society, and possibly the judgements compel me to write about this.

I am not a Delhiite – but I have been here for two years, and been driving here for eight months now. Before that, I was in Mumbai (Bombay) where I dare not drive or ride, and before that, in Kerala where I lived on two wheels.

There are accidents every day in Delhi. Speeding buses, speeding cars, trucks and tractor trailers parked on the wrong side of the road at night, drunken driving, ignoring traffic signals. Pedestrians and two wheeler riders are in serious danger on Delhi’s roads, and even traveling in an autorickshaw or car is not safe.

But.

From my experience, two wheeler accidents are more than often the fault of the motorcycle or scooter rider in Delhi. I am truly sorry for those who lost their loved ones in such accidents, but I am here talking to those of you who ARE going to lose your family or friends in accidents.

Or you yourself, the delhi two-wheeler rider. You are a danger to others, even even more, you are a danger to yourself. You, the average motorcycle or scooter rider of Delhi, is an idiot, retard, fool who endangers everyone else’s life the moment you are on the street.

Traffic rules? They don’t apply to anyone. in Delhi And even less so to a motorcycle rider.

Blind spots behind cars

Do you know that a car or SUV has a blind spot? There is a particular position behind a car or SUV where we cannot see you at all. If you follow a car staying exactly within that spot, despite all my rear view mirrors, I cannot see you. If I take a sudden turn thinking there is no one there, you are going to crash headfirst into my car.

Do not dare accuse me of being elitist, being a car guy. I was riding a motorcycle before a lot of you ever saw one – and guess what? I knew about the blind spot when I was riding. Booya. You are an idiot, sirjee.

Turn signals: They are there for a reason

Have you ever noticed those bring yellow lights that blink before a car takes a turn? If the yellow turn indicator lights blink on the left, you retard, that is not an invitation for you to accelerate to the speed of light and overtake me on the left before my car turns left.

I switch them on when I am going to take a left turn, and to warn you that I am going to take a left. Once I know that you have seen them blinking, I feel SAFE to turn, as now you would not be an asshole and try to make an omelet out of your brain against my left side door. But you do.

It is shameful that one has to educate a Delhi motorcyclist or scooter rider about such things.

Four wheels are more stable that two

Somehow, your little brain does not seem to notice this. Do not come within inches of a much larger vehicle. Sure, we are both going forward, and the 5 inch gap remains so – but if you skid towards me after riding over a slippery stone, you crash into me and very likely bounce off under a bus or truck which is following you.

Junctions with no signals

If there are no signals, do not think you can blast past the junction at 70 or 80. LOOK. If there are no signals, I can blast past too and in all likelihood, 1 tonne meeting 150 kg ends up bad for the guy on the 150 kg vehicle. I may end up in jail, but you are dead – and a dead persons don’t have much fun. Not to mention, in 6 months’ time, your girlfriend would be getting laid by your best friend.

This is such a common sight on Delhi roads – cars and motorcyclists crossing a signal-less junction without a care. It is criminal of Delhi government to allow any junction without signals.

The moving roadblock – the slow rider in Delhi

Yes, you guys are the ones – usually middle aged or above – who decide to ride in the middle of a three lane road at 40 kmph. You know, your motorcycle or scooter would be in fourth gear at that speed, probably going at the optimum speed for fuel efficiency. Not cars or SUVs. They usually are in fourth gear around 50, and often the engine turns smoothly only at 50-60 – for large cars, its even higher. So, cars and SUVs tend to drive some 30-30 kmph faster than you on an empty road.

now lets say we suddenly see you there. We approach you much faster than we expect – as most people on the road now drive at 50-60 kmph, and for someone in a car at 60 or 70, a motorcyclist at 30 or 40 looks, well, stationary! You are bloody not moving, relatively speaking. It makes us panic, miscalculate the distances, step on brakes, swerve – often driving into someone who is riding 5 inches from my left side in my blind spot. Thank you, you have just deleted his leg. Or head, if you are lucky.

Burst into traffic at high speed from a lane

Yes. You do that. And you are splattered on the road.

Recent motorcycle – car- bus accidents in Delhi

Cars, especially BMWs, have been driving into people on two wheelers often these days. Riders are often killed in the accidents, and the guys in the cars get thrashed, and put behind bars.

First, no one really knows if the motorcycle rider or the car driver is at fault. At least 50 % of the time, the motorcycle rider is, I think. And what happens?

First, there is you – the accident victim – lying on the road. Instead of helping you, a crowd gathers and beats up the driver. Instead of getting the driver to take you to a hospital in his car, they trash the car. Then, after a long time, as you are breathing your last, someone remembers to call the police. By the time you read the hospital, you are dead. The driver is in jail, sometimes bailed out, sometimes not.

Now, imagine that there is an accident – if a driver is scared of a mob beating him up and trashing his car, he is not going to stick around. He is gonna hightail it out of there, and fuck your sorry ass. If he knows that he can do something – remember he is also in shock – he would try to take you to a hospital. After he does not want you to die. But remember that he does not partcicularly want himself to die either – and if it comes to a choice of putting his life on the line, he would flee.

So, people of Delhi, cut that habit of beating up drivers. You are not helping anyone. I read so much about road accidents and people dying and drivers getting thrashed, sometimes lynched – and let me assure you, if I get into an accident, I would help you only if I am sure I won’t be thrashed. Thanks to all of you who are happy to beat up drivers, I won’t be taking the risk. Make it safe for drivers who may or may not be guilty, and you may have a few more saved from death.

To the courts, on road accident victims and culprits

You know there is often no way there is any conclusive proof of who was at fault considering our cops’ investigative skills. I mean, if they even bother. Recently you put a BMW driver behind bars, after he crashed into a motorcycle. Two riders were killed. The judge himself expressed the opinion that the left front side of the car was damaged, so it was likely the motorcycle crashed into the car there. Still, he was sent to jail.

Why?

Most likely, there is no way it could be proven that he was at fault. He was not drunk, a separate offence. he escaped from the scene – I think it was because of that hero who ran to him and whispered, “Aap ne toh inhe maar diye”. Very nice. Considering that drivers are beaten up for much smaller crimes, telling a shocked driver that he just killed someone would reaaallyy make him want to stick around and take the victims to a hospital.

Be logical. If it really is his fault, send him to jail after its proven. Putting someone in jail when there has been almost no investigation is not justice. Maybe that is how our justice system works – jail first, and investigation later.

The Electronic Cigarette or E-Cigarette that has been developed in China by Hon Lik of Ruyan is gaining in popularity in India among smokers who want to give a shot to quitting without getting rid of their nicotine fix. Read the rest of this entry »

This has beena bad habit for a long time. Check once a day what’s been going on with my Alexa rankings. Everyone knows the ranking were not of much relevance unless you were comparing sites in the same industry or market.

So when I check today, surprise, the ranking of my site has gone up form 36,000 yesterday to 16,000 today. Brillianto! Once I got rid of the doubts about an error, I opened my eyes and saw this message:

Yay. Click and go in. And there is a more detailed explanation of the ranking changes.

The most important change seems to be that Alexa nowrelies not just on the toolbar, but also on a variety of other data sources. What are these other sources? Metacrawler.com etc? No clarity on that yet.

My first impression is that yes, the new rankings are a lot more accurate. Till now, it was easy to find sites with just 5k unique users a day, and maybe 10k pageviews a day ranking much, much better than my own site which easily has 15-25k users on any given day. So this ranking change seems to have got that right.

For this site, around 40 % of the visitors have been from India – a demographic which Alewxa never seemed to bother about much. Now it looks like it has changed.

From my quick checking of sites whose traffic levels I am aware of, and comparing them to my own site, things are a lot better for Alexa.

I will be doing some serious study of where everyone stands – and will keep an eye out for all those analyses by experts that are going to come in anytime now.