Dowry deaths in India - News and opinion

Recently I  chanced across a discussion on www.plastic.com about the Bihari custom of pakarva bibah - where the groom is kidnapped and forcibly married to girls at gunpoint. What I did not know was that this practice started when a man, whose sisters committed suicide as he could not afford to marry them all off by paying dowry, decided to destroy the dowry system.

Well, if the story is true, destroy the dowry system he did not. But he has definitely added on more malice to the various evils that already haunt the unfortunate state of Bihar. 

My city mind wonders how such a marriage is really a marriage - whither love, commitment, shared values et al? Yeah, we know that in most of India, marriage is essentially a social arrangement, and the individuals do not have much to do with whos and whys of marriage. 

Dowry is a topic that is debated a lot too - of how it serves as a tool in the complex deal that is a marriage between two families. It is possible that it was meant originally to empower women, and her family's contribution to the groom, who was the bread-winner.

Below I have collected a bunch on links on dowry and dowry deaths. One of the heartening ones is the website of Behrampur police, where they invite dowry victims and would-be dowry victims to come forward.

http://berhampurpolice.com/WomenCare/d&dd.htm 

A collection of links from the Columbia University website on dowry and dowry deaths. There is even a link to an article criticising Mahatma Gandhi and his views on dowry. There is an interesting side-track on the veneration of Ram vs Sita in India too.

http://www.columbia.edu/itc/religion/mcgee/DOWRYDEATH.html

Here is a treatise on dowry deaths, its gruesome reality and future interface in a digital cultural revolution. I am not sure I entirely understand that line, but see if you can do better that I can. http://www.digitalism.org/artdoc/ddeath.html 

Here is the original article on Plastic.com on pakarva bibah , dowry and dowry deaths. More than 50 people are discussing the article, maybe you can add your bit too. http://www.plastic.com/article.html;sid=03/10/07/12103893

Dowry deaths are another great Indian phenomenon. Essentially a dowry death is when a bride is murdered when she fails to satisfy the in-laws demands for dowry.

Normally one would expect that the demand for dowry is made before marriage, and if the bride's family refuses or is incapable of meeting the dowry demand, the marriage is dropped. Alas, things do not happen so cleanly.

Often, the dowry demand is never articulated clearly in specific points. Part of dowry demand is made using hints and vague statements, which are left open to interpretation. These can turn deadly later. Another problem is that the dowry demands often keep changing. For example, if the bride's family looks too willing to accept a dowry demand, the groom's family may wonder: did we ask for less that what they were prepared to offer us? Or, as the bride's family agrees to a particular demand, someone may suggest something new. These are never fully solved before a marriage takes place. 

The dowry demands continue well into the first few years in some cases. The bride is often ridiculed, her parents insulted - and the brides themselves sometimes demand more by way of dowry from their parents to ensure adequate respect in the groom's household. Add to this the rotten North Indian system of giving money or jewelry as gifts on every conceivable occasion and we have a potent mixture.

The bride, when she stands up to the groom's family's demands it is considered an insult and is beaten up. Talking back to elders is considered worthy of a good beating in Indian society, and a bride who speaks back on the topic of dowry will be beaten up. Such beatings sometimes results in her death or serious injuries.

Sometimes, this is done cold-bloodedly. The husband and in-laws decide to get rid of an inconvenient, unprofitable bride by killing her. Such dowry killings are so common that they should lead one to seriously wonder about the state of Indian morality. The chosen method in cities for dowry deaths are cooking gas cylinder explosions or kerosene stove burns. It goes without saying that they are almost always passed off as accidents. 

As the demands for dowry continue well into the marriage, dowry deaths happen anytime - sometimes even after a child or two are born. Sometimes a husband's boredom with his wife, in-laws disaffection with a bride, family's need for money combine to make the husband consider another marriage. Of course, dowry or second marriages are both illegal in India, but that has never stopped anyone. If the first wife protests against the proposed second marriage, she could be conveniently disposed off. Dowry deaths attract stringent provisions of the law - however, for the law to have any effect, the crime has to be registered and investigated. Our highly educated police force, a significant portion of are the beneficiaries of dowry, cannot be expected to bring the guilty to book.

lawdgawd@yahoo.com