Straight-forward, non-pseudo-secular solutions to the 
Ayodhya-Babri Masjid pain-in-the-you-know-where


Going to solve what the religious leaders and politicians could not, are we? Heck yes. If I am going to be the armchair journalist, let me at least take on the big problems. After all, I am not the one who needs votes, so if anything, I have more rights than any of the so-called leaders of the country to suggest solutions. 

Before that: Mixing religion with community is neither secular, nor religious.

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The essence of everything I have to suggest here, in the beginning. It is there at the beginning because there is no editor here to tell me about the inverted or lopsided pyramids of writing something.

Solution one:

You are all nuts, and I need to pee solution.

You may have heard this one before. This is the least practical, and hence the most lovable solution I can think about. We have to get the religious and politicians on both sides to unanimously agree that something like the structure and soil at Ayodhya are evil. It could be a Muslim evil or Hindu evil, but definitely evil. Once we are all agreed on that, let us nuke the place so there is no question of arguing over it anymore. No Ayodhya temple, No Babri Masjid. The problem with this solution is that the residents of Ayodhya may not like it at all. So we don't nuke it. We flatten the entire place - US of A can probably spare us a Daisy-cutter -  and then build a big, multi-cultural, multi-denominational, multi-religious, multi-sex loo there. All religions relieving themselves together in the same place can contribute a lot to national integration.

Solution two:

The Sri Sri Ravi Sankar solution

I do not know if he actually said this, but if he did, I have some respect for the man. He doesn't seem to think that people of all religions peeing together is very important, sadly.

He says that Hindus should apologise to Indian Muslims for demolishing the Babri Masjid. Then, Muslims should accept the apology and hand over the former location of the Babri Masjid place to Hindus.

This is brilliant. The details of the apology and wording can be worked out. Essentially Muslims have no real religious reason to have a particular mosque in a particular place. Islam is a religion that does not give any relevance to where you pray to Allah. Whatever the current lot of Mullahs says is crap. Muslim scholars can accept this easily, if the entire atmosphere of coercion ceases to exist. In other words, if you are true believer, Babri Masjid is just a building.

Hindus, whether they like it or not, did something that was clearly against the law. And the small bunch who brought the Babri Masjid down claimed they did it for Hindus. The act has made Indian Muslims fearful of their safety and security in this country, and it is not good for anyone to have a few fearful millions of Muslims. Apologise for the idiots who told lies and broke promises. Unlike Islam, Hinduism, in practice has reverence for places and locations, and Indian Muslims should respect that, and hand over the place to Hindus. 

Like I said, this is possible only when the trishuls and bombs stop doing their work. Muzzle Togadia, and perhaps Shahabuddin and this can work.

Solution three:

Take the fucking place and shove it up your arse solution

This solution does not rely on Hindus doing anything at all. They can continue to exist in the ignorance of what their own religion stands for and continue believing in the Global Hate Parishad. Often, I don't think they deserve anything better anyway.

Indian Muslims should declare that we want to live in peace and harmony with Hindus. Also, that this has been made next to impossible by their leaders. Declare that too. So, they decide to hand over the place to Hindus.

Why should Indian Muslims do it and why can they do it? They should do it 1) recognizing that peace-loving Hindus too would like it that they can worship Ram at his birth-place (or Ayodhya - the placed deemed to be his birthplace) 2) It is truly in accordance with their religion 3) Grab the liberal platform and say Hindu happiness is more importance to them than a structure 4) Perhaps offer them two or three other Masjids too to demolish, under the condition that the Masjids have to be demolished by registered members of VHP and BJP, screaming anti-Muslim slogans, in the full-glare of television channels. Re-enact the Babri Masjid demolition, and this time with the permission of Indian Muslims. Perhaps true, live video of Hindu hooligans in action will  swing Hindu liberal opinion favourably towards Muslims. Who knows.

They are all unworkable right? Yes. But they are unworkable because both Muslims and Hindus do not have sensible leaders, who can think and turn a bad situation around. Turning this around is important for Muslims, so that leadership has to emerge from within them. In the end, believers of Allah do not require mosques. It is a great strength of religions of Middle-Eastern origin. Use that strength.

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