Road rage tales from India

Road rage is obviously one of the defining characteristics of our nation, but the tendency to grab someone’s throat for not moving out of the way of your car varies a lot. Frankly, I have seen the least number of such instances in the state of Kerala, my home state.

Even in Kerala, it varies from district to district. In Kochi, there is heavy traffic all the time and crazy driving when people get a stretch of open road, but road rage is rare. In Kottayam, drivers look exasperated, but still manage to stay polite. But in Thiruvananthapuram, drivers are usually an irritable lot (probably because they could not spell Thiruvananthapuram correctly). However, things are getting better there too, as the number of goondas on the streets have increased, and no one wants to fall victim to a frustrated goonda (or a ‘quotation’ guy, as ’supari’ criminals are called in Kerala) whose victim of the day escaped from him, and is driving home to beat up his wife.

In Kerala, it is actually possible to drive or ride through the cities in heavy traffic for one hour, and not hear any abuses at all. That is a rare occurance in the city where I live, Delhi.

New Delhi is the national capital of road rage. Anyone and everyone is ever ready to fight, glare like a movie villain, jump out and bang on your window. We have seen the typical North Indian goonda in many Bollywood movies, right? The hero is the chocolate boy, the villain looks evil, and finally the chocolate boy teaches the villain a lesson. Not so in real life, in Delhi. The worst offenders on the roads are often good-looking – fair, with gelled hair and pop video looks. They are the ones most likely to jump out and scream at you in English, and quickly switch to Haryanvi or Punjabi.

Several car-related crimes in New Delhi come to mind. A malayalee careerwoman, Sheeba Thomas,was found shot dead in her car in Noida, the satellite township on the outskirts of Delhi. It seemed someone blocked her car at night at a signal. No one knows what happened afterwards, but she was found dead in the car after several hours. A female journalist, Soumya Viswanathan, was also found shot inside her car by the roadside.

Women who drive in New Delhi often say that the rule is, even if a policeman waves at you to stop, you had better not. Even they cannot be trusted at night if you are a woman.

Many bizarre instances of road rage occur here with alarming frequency. Recently the security officer of the son of some bureaucrat shot at the car in front of him, as it was not moving out of the way!

On the Gurgaon Delhi expressway, a man in a car was arguing at the toll booth. After waiting for a while, the driver of the car behind got out, walked to the toll booth, pointed his gun at the argumentative chap, and told him to flee. Which he did promptly!

If you notice, there is a gun involved everywhere. We, in Kerala seem to prefer more traditional means such as S-shaped knives. North Indian friends tell me that guns have always been status symbols here, and rich people love to own a gun. That, plus a little bit of machismo, is all you need for trouble. This is very unlike the crime in Bombay, where gangs and the underworld operate in a separate world and do not bother the average guy on the street. That is what enables women to travel late at night alone and still be safe in Bombay. The casual crime in Delhi is more of a pain to society than  the organised crime in Bombay.

Let me end with a funny story of road rage in Delhi which I think explains the Delhi driver’s mind brilliantly . A gang of men in a car acidentally bumped another car in which a couple was travelling in broad daylight. Arguments ensued, and the gang bumped the couple’s car again and dented it. The couple fled. The gang followed, bumping into the car from all sides again and again. The gang did not notice, in all their excitement, when the couple drove their car into a police station compound and stopped near a group of equally macho policemen. The rest of the story, you can very well imagine.